I do not understand nature.
I try to step back and observe humans from nature's perspective. One of the best ways I can do that is by slowing down and watching nature more closely.
I see chirping birds in the morning minding their own business, scolding each other from tree tops, darting between bushes, and skydiving from pine trees. I'm hurrying out the door when I realize I forgot my coffee and so I mutter under my breath and rush back in. I catch the time on the stove and sigh in exasperation. In the five seconds before I get into my car, I pay attention to the glorious birds. Their cheer is contagious and I'm jealous for a fleeting moment. I'm jealous of birds. Think on that.
The highway curves and above the treeline I see billowing black smoke flowing from an industrial building. I have no idea what kind of building. I estimate it's five miles from my house and realize I'm breathing that in every day.
A good portion of my commute is on country roads. No writer could ever do justice to the sun rising over an expanse of farm fields, dappled by morning frost that reflects its dazzle as if to entertain the sun. My Monday morning cobwebs disappear and I am soothed. I notice the brown and white cattle, lazy in contented boredom. I squeal to see there's now baby cattle nestled close to their mothers. I'm guessing they see a blur of green (if they see in color?) as I speed by, but do they wonder why? I doubt it. They seem to accept what is. I'm a little jealous of this too.
I don't have a lot of time for lunch so I order a salad to go and they put it in a Styrofoam container. I'm irritated with myself for not bringing my own container and stare at the Styrofoam when I'm done. How can I throw that in the trash knowing it will never disintegrate in the landfill? Well, maybe if there's a nuclear bomb. I didn't even stop to think this through until a few years ago...And I'm guessing my diapers from when I was a baby are still in some landfill somewhere, not disintegrating.
When you watch humans from nature's perspective, it's appalling and I can't understand why nature hasn't destroyed us so she can start all over and regain some dignity. Why doesn't she enter an ice age? It would really serve us right.
We've paved millions of ugly roads, built fast food restaurants at every intersection, dotted roads with huge billboards, constructed mega shopping centers filled with junk that will end up in a landfill within 10 years, thrown away our Biggby plastic cup without a second thought, and run over animals with our cars. Have you taken a second to see how ugly it all is?
We've stampeded all over her beauty. We've raped, burned, suffocated, and scarred her. Do you see any other creatures doing this? Have the skunks dumped toxins into the water supply? No, they manage despite our violence, despite our blatant disrespect.
A pair of ducks have been courting (yes, I read up on this and they court) in our back yard. It's been amusing to watch them. The male follows close behind her, always on the look out, and she eats constantly since she's eating for 8 or 12 or whatever number eggs she's hatching. Apparently, ducks are monogamous for a season of mating, although the male will take off for one night stands and then return to his mate. Anyhow, it's made me wonder how they survive in the midst of human waste and destruction, and they are completely oblivious to the danger they are in. I don't see them popping Xanax. They just go about their business. And I'm not referring to their natural predators. The creek could easily be polluted. They could easily take their ducklings on a stroll across the road. She may have used litter that's always being thrown in our yard to build her nest.
We've started a new project: an organic garden. I've been reading and doing research, while my husband has been building and getting the supplies ready. Yesterday I read how 100% organic is nearly impossible in our world. Think of it. The rain that falls is contaminated by the air it falls through. The manure or compost is contaminated by the growth hormones given to animals, which then pollutes our garden. Nature is interconnected, including us, and the toxins are seeping into everything.
This isn't meant to be a scare tactic or reprimanding lecture for that time you were too lazy to recycle the milk jug. It's awareness. We are all asleep, in denial, or dismiss it as hippie lore. We change our behaviors for maybe a week after watching An Inconvenient Truth.
As I awaken and become more aware, I wonder what my country, my own backyard would look like if the white settlers had never come and Native Americans had been allowed to live in peace on their land. Think about it.
