Nature's Grace

I do not understand nature.

I try to step back and observe humans from nature's perspective. One of the best ways I can do that is by slowing down and watching nature more closely.

I see chirping birds in the morning minding their own business, scolding each other from tree tops, darting between bushes, and skydiving from pine trees. I'm hurrying out the door when I realize I forgot my coffee and so I mutter under my breath and rush back in. I catch the time on the stove and sigh in exasperation. In the five seconds before I get into my car, I pay attention to the glorious birds. Their cheer is contagious and I'm jealous for a fleeting moment. I'm jealous of birds. Think on that.

The highway curves and above the treeline I see billowing black smoke flowing from an industrial building. I have no idea what kind of building. I estimate it's five miles from my house and realize I'm breathing that in every day.

A good portion of my commute is on country roads. No writer could ever do justice to the sun rising over an expanse of farm fields, dappled by morning frost that reflects its dazzle as if to entertain the sun. My Monday morning cobwebs disappear and I am soothed. I notice the brown and white cattle, lazy in contented boredom. I squeal to see there's now baby cattle nestled close to their mothers. I'm guessing they see a blur of green (if they see in color?) as I speed by, but do they wonder why? I doubt it. They seem to accept what is. I'm a little jealous of this too.

I don't have a lot of time for lunch so I order a salad to go and they put it in a Styrofoam container. I'm irritated with myself for not bringing my own container and stare at the Styrofoam when I'm done. How can I throw that in the trash knowing it will never disintegrate in the landfill? Well, maybe if there's a nuclear bomb. I didn't even stop to think this through until a few years ago...And I'm guessing my diapers from when I was a baby are still in some landfill somewhere, not disintegrating.

When you watch humans from nature's perspective, it's appalling and I can't understand why nature hasn't destroyed us so she can start all over and regain some dignity. Why doesn't she enter an ice age? It would really serve us right.

We've paved millions of ugly roads, built fast food restaurants at every intersection, dotted roads with huge billboards, constructed mega shopping centers filled with junk that will end up in a landfill within 10 years, thrown away our Biggby plastic cup without a second thought, and run over animals with our cars. Have you taken a second to see how ugly it all is?

We've stampeded all over her beauty. We've raped, burned, suffocated, and scarred her.  Do you see any other creatures doing this? Have the skunks dumped toxins into the water supply? No, they manage despite our violence, despite our blatant disrespect.

A pair of ducks have been courting (yes, I read up on this and they court) in our back yard. It's been amusing to watch them. The male follows close behind her, always on the look out, and she eats constantly since she's eating for 8 or 12 or whatever number eggs she's hatching. Apparently, ducks are monogamous for a season of mating, although the male will take off for one night stands and then return to his mate. Anyhow, it's made me wonder how they survive in the midst of human waste and destruction, and they are completely oblivious to the danger they are in. I don't see them popping Xanax. They just go about their business. And I'm not referring to their natural predators. The creek could easily be polluted. They could easily take their ducklings on a stroll across the road. She may have used litter that's always being thrown in our yard to build her nest.

We've started a new project: an organic garden. I've been reading and doing research, while my husband has been building and getting the supplies ready. Yesterday I read how 100% organic is nearly impossible in our world. Think of it. The rain that falls is contaminated by the air it falls through. The manure or compost is contaminated by the growth hormones given to animals, which then pollutes our garden. Nature is interconnected, including us, and the toxins are seeping into everything.

This isn't meant to be a scare tactic or reprimanding lecture for that time you were too lazy to recycle the milk jug. It's awareness. We are all asleep, in denial, or dismiss it as hippie lore. We change our behaviors for maybe a week after watching An Inconvenient Truth.

As I awaken and become more aware, I wonder what my country, my own backyard would look like if the white settlers had never come and Native Americans had been allowed to live in peace on their land. Think about it.

Monday Musing...Dream Vacation

So I'm very much behind. I've been running about a week behind since I had my wisdom teeth surgery about a month ago, but I refuse to miss a Monday Musing- even if my posting doesn't fall on a Monday!

It's Dream vacation week! Well, the topic anyways. I believe I'm still stuck in Michigan winter purgatory (AKA March) and my 9 to 5 job.
Remember to check out my fellow blogger's dream vacation spots:

Chris Allen Riley
Leigh Jones
Tess Grant

My dream vacation is still a work in progress, but here's a rough draft of it.

Europe is a must. Narrowing down the itinerary is difficult, but I have to for sure visit England and Italy. I admit I might have a romanticized view of Europe and I try to remind myself it no longer looks like it did in say, 1500. I read so many historical novels that take place in Europe that it's what I visualize when I think of England, despite modern day media images. However, I know many of the historical sites and buildings are still there and have to visit. Touring the Tower of London would give me goosebumps. To see where Anne Boleyn was imprisoned and beheaded, where the two princes disappeared, and George Plantagenet was rumored to have been drowned in a vat of Malmsey wine.





In America it's hard to find a house that's older than 1860. Even that is stretching it. How many century old structures or castles do we have? Can you wonder why I have a fairy tale image of Great Britain in my mind?

I'd also love to go to Tuscany, Italy.



Need I say more?
Wine.
There, no need for anymore words.

I don't know a lot about Italy, but I might stop in Rome, check out the Colosseum since I'm such a history nerd.



When I was researching places for our honeymoon, I came across the Amalfi Coast and realized that I have a painting that looks very similar. It's going on the Italy itinerary.



After eating lots of pasta, wine, and bread, I'll head to India (a la Eat Pray Love) to meditate and do some yoga...and shed those 20 lbs of carbs.




Maybe a yoga and meditation retreat.
I don't know a lot about India itself, but I have an interest in many of their philosophies and the culture's background.



I'd have to do a lot more research on these countries, but here's a list of activities I'd love to do on any dream vacation, no matter where I am:

Ethnic cooking class
Read
Yoga
Write
Meditation
Tour local historical spots
Kayak
Massage/spa
Hiking
Meet people from different cultures
Try new foods
Any activities that are unique to the country that I can't do at home....

So there you have it!
Where would you love to vacation?

Monday Musings...My detox

Today I'm not sharing the topic until the end. You may, if you like, cheat by checking my fellow Monday blogger's sites. :)

 Christine Allen-Riley
 Kirsti Jones
 Tess Grant.

Last weekend I went on a retreat with a friend of mine. It was in a rural area in the woods and we each had our own private lodging. It was in a community that's largely based on Carl Jung's teachings (psychologist who broke off from Freud). Jung's work emphasizes one's inner world, which should be in more balance with one's external world than what we see in modern man today- in other words the unconscious versus conscious. That alone is a whole different blog post that I hope to do sometime. 

There was no Internet or TV, and my cell phone signal was spotty. Some of my time was spent discussing topics with my friend and those who run the community and some was spent in solitude. 

At first my mind was frantic and compulsive, so accustomed to preparing for work or tomorrow's plan or my to do list. Of course I'd made sure to schedule my free time at the retreat. I'd made goals - reading certain books, accomplishing so much writing, getting back into my journal. My car looked like I was going on a four week road trip! 

After I unpacked, I fidgeted, rearranging what belongings I wanted where. Changed into my yoga pants, I started reading, got distracted, went back to reading, had an impulse to text my sister something awesome I'd read. My fidgets lasted a good two days. Thankfully it was a four day retreat. I was annoyed with myself. Why was I so restless? 

I knew this might happen as I detoxed from American Society life, and so from the beginning I I let whatever happen, happen. Go with the flow. I even have a "Go with the flow" shirt from yoga class. So, I let myself fidget. 

As I was going through withdrawals, it's amazing how many impulses I had to check Facebook, send a text, and check my phone. Then, I came across this in my reading:

"The first sermon in the world was preached at the creation. It was a Divine protest against Hurry." (goes on to talk about the 7th day of rest)

"Nature is very un-American. Nature never hurries. Every phase of her working shows plan, calmness, reliability, and the absence of hurry. Hurry always implies lack of definite method, confusion, impatience of slow growth." - Both from William George Jordan, The Majesty of Calmness, 1898

Did you see that? He wrote that in 1898!! 100+ years later and we're at warped speed.

When's the last time I didn't feel some form of hurry? Whether it's actually running late or worrying about something that's not done.

I did a lot of journaling. My instinct, rather than that incessant thinking voice, told me to journal. I had to purge to clear my mind and undo the creative constipation I'd been experiencing. I've decided that journaling/free associating is imperative so I can vomit all the garbage and busy random thoughts- the enema for my creativity. 

I need that inner quiet if I'm going to write anything of any quality and access my muse. How can inspiration erupt when it's dominated by four very logical goal oriented debators? My inspiration is shy and more likely to take another nap than get in the boxing ring with the others.

In returning to my routine and the hustled world, I'm not magically cured of my old habits, but I realize I need to slow down, even if it's from 75 mph to 55 mph. 

Today's topic was what do I need to write? In case you got lost in the maze of my story. :) 

The picture is from a very relaxing trip I took with my husband in the Bahamas.

Monday Musings...On Saturday

I'm behind with my weekly blog by almost a week...for a variety of reasons. I was out of town last weekend on a retreat, my wisdom teeth recovery is taking longer than planned, and I've come down with a bad sinus infection. Life happens, right? And thank goodness for Sudafed!

This week was favorite TV shows and movies. My fellow bloggers faves can be found at Christine Allen-Riley, Kirsti Jones, Tess Grant.

Sooo I love history and at least 80% of what I read are historical fiction novels, so it only makes sense that my favorite show is Downton Abbey.




I started watching it a few weeks ago, swept through season one, and I'm irritated by the long wait on Netflix for season 2. I'm also restraining myself from watching the current season (three) on Sunday nights at 9 pm on PBS (Yes! PBS- how awesome is that?). It's no surprise to me that I love this show, but I admit I'm shocked to hear how many other people are as obsessed as I am. Normally I'm in the minority when it comes to entertainment. (I've never seen Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or Twilight, just to give an example).

It takes place in England in the early 1900's, starting in 1912 with news of the Titanic, into WWI, and well, we'll see I guess. Not many movies, much less TV shows, take place in this time period. I actually started growing an interest in this era before I even heard of Downton Abbey. I'd been brainstorming a story of my own set around this time. Downton follows the lives of a wealthy family as well as their servants, exploring different class systems and each of their challenges.I enjoy the multiple story lines and looking in depth at the servants and working class characters. Servants are fleshed out as full characters rather than cast into stereotypes. The show has breadth and depth. Something that's hard to pull off.

Many people think of historical movies that have corsets and British accents as slow, stiff, and boring with twenty minute declarations of love by a Jane Austen character. But this show has enough suspense and is well paced, giving it a modern feel. I'm wondering if this is part of the appeal for mainstream audiences.

My husband insists on calling it Downtown Abby because he says, the British are just being British-y by calling it Downton. He's not quite as enraptured as I am.

Another favorite TV series of mine is United States of Tara.

 

It's about a woman with Dissociative Identity Disorder (previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder), and you get to see her alters, the messes they cause, and the stress it causes her family. The driving force is not just for her to recover from the mental illness, but to understand why and how she developed the disorder. Toni Collette is excellent in it! Like any TV show it's not an exact replica of what this disorder looks like, but I was very impressed with how they did it. Most TV shows are notoriously bad at mental illness.

Last night I did a marathon of season 3, only to learn that they cancelled the show after that! Unfortunately they weren't able to finish Tara's story. I was so disappointed that I emailed Showtime- even though it was cancelled in 2011. I've never done anything like that before. Apparently I was distraught enough. How frustrating to not have any closure- it's like reading a book and finding out that the author died before it was completed! Maybe I should write my own ending!

I have several favorite movies, but one that's dear to my heart is Elizabeth. This came out when I was in high school.



 When I was in 7th grade we had "research week" where we could pick any topic to research and then put together a display to show what we learned. I'm not sure how, but I became hooked on learning about Henry VIII  of England and his numerous wives, two of which he beheaded. Elizabeth was his second daughter who later became queen and ruled for many years. She never married. She was an excellent diplomat. This was the time of Shakespeare. Her story always captivated me, and one of my favorite actresses (Cate Blanchett)  played the part!

I've always loved the opening scenes. There was something romantic, innocent, and whimsical about it. I haven't seen the movie since high school, but it's still a favorite. I believe this is a shot from one of those opening scenes that has always stood out in my mind.

Monday Musings- Virtual Office

The blog hop continues with a virtual tour of our offices! Feel free to mosey around my fellow author's blogs:
Christine Allen-Riley
Kirsti Jones
Tess Grant

I confess I don't have a specific physical space that I always use to write. So to cover up my disorganization,  I'm going to refer to it as a mobile office or WIP (work in progress) office.

Here's the thing. We moved into our house about six months ago and each room has been a WIP. We actually have a room that we call "the office", but it's not a fully functioning office. My goal is to frequently write in there, although I can never imagine always writing in one spot or to be honest, even at a desk.

Which brings me to my beautiful desk! (Yes, I know this is confusing)

I found this beautiful wooden desk at a second hand shop. It was crying out to me for new paint and a home. It was a hideous green and yellow. I re-imagined it in duck egg blue and old ochre. It might be hard to see from the picture, but I love how it curves in the front and the detail along the edges, not to mention all the deep drawers! The handles are original and I'm guessing it's circa 1950? I'm still learning vintage furniture so let me know if you have an idea.

My inner romance novelist wants to pull up a chair to this desk with a quill pen and ink, a cup of cocoa, and gaze at the snow laden pine trees for inspiration.

Practical lazy me tends to sit on the couch with the laptop (i.e. right now).

The desk will at least serve the purpose of filing my writing supplies, even if I don't write very often at the desk....and my husband and stepdaughter have been using it.

If you did a 180 turn from the desk, you would see my "new" comfy chair, which is my next project- either slip cover or reupholstered. We'll see how ambitious I get. Like I said, I often plop on the couch in our living room, but sometimes the husband wants to watch Family Guy or sports, and I'm not one of those people that functions better with music or noise in the background. I envy those people, but give me a library any day over a distraction ridden Biggby's.

I have a desk at work and I squirm all day at it. Gimme a lazy boy, this behind needs some cushioning! 95% of my college homework was done in a reclining chair. I swear I'd be more productive!

My sister's friend had the awesomest cushiest hugest sweetest chair that she no longer wanted. Overzealous for a comfy spot in the "office", we hauled it to our house. Then we discovered that it actually was a gargantuan of a chair and wouldn't fit through any of the doorways. After sweat and tears, and a trail of carnage that has yet to be fixed down the hallway, we managed. And it was worth it.

This, my friends, will be my writing chair. It is heavenly.

I think it is more bed than chair.

Our "office" also has a bookshelf, printer, and some other yet-to-be-organized bins, folders, and such. A friend of mine is replicating a witty collage I found in a writer's magazine, in the form of a hanging quilt, which will also go in the "office." I promise to show it once it's done!

The mobile part of my office is my mind and a notebook. I love a clean crisp notebook. Walking into Staples makes me giddy, and I inevitably buy a new notebook or pen even though I have a stack at home.  I used to hand write everything. Then type it when and if I had to. I'm old fashioned. There's something to be said for how thoughts flow from the brain to arm to scribbling flow of the fingers. I've always felt that typing creates a disconnect.

Then I realized I live in the modern world and if I wanted to make the most of my time, I should learn to type my thoughts directly. Or at least try.  The transition has been difficult, but now I mostly type on the laptop. (At least I'm not stuck at a desk, I decided).

But don't stop buying stock in the notebook companies. Inspiration has a tendency to pop up at inopportune moments such as in the shower, the fleeting 5 seconds before I fall asleep, or in the car.  I've lost several gems simply because I was overconfident that I'd remember it later and then never wrote it down.

I've tried various notebook sizes for mobile purposes. I had a 3" x 3" one in my purse for awhile, but it was too small and would never stay open while I tried to write. Now I keep this one nearby, usually by my nightstand and sometimes it wanders to other rooms or places...

I'm afraid my virtual tour has been a little bumpy and sidetracked, but it's actually pretty reflective of my experience as a writer: A WIP in finding a system, style, and well, an actual office.

How about you? What kind of office do you have? Is it all in your head, mobile, fragmented, or maybe centers around a well loved piece of furniture?