The Misnomer of "Feminist Movement"

The feminist movement has missed the point, or at least half the point. I had this epiphany the other day when I was reading an article about feminism. I was raised to embrace independence in women. Equality, respect, assertiveness, self esteem, drive, career goals, all of it. I don't recall what exactly I was reading, but it suddenly dawned on me that feminism has often been defined as women acting more like men. I've always known intuitively that this was happening, but to view it within the framework of the feminist movement was appalling.

It's about embracing male characteristics in women. Not a bad thing in itself. I'm all about a culture that accepts a woman who is analytical, strong, and assertive. However, what saddens me is that in order for a woman to become a CEO in this society, the way she gets there is by only showing her masculine characteristics.

Male=strong=powerful=CEO. Female=nurturing=(perceived) weak=not a CEO. Remember when Hilary Clinton cried? I don't recall her being applauded for that.

We may think we've made great progress, but America is still steroids-heavy on male traits. Male characteristics are the ideal. They equal power, America's crack. And we've never seen it go through power withdrawals. I wonder what that would look like.

When I think about all the instances that led to where I'm at in my career, it was because I polished up my male characteristics. I had to show assertion and self confidence at job interviews. I had to speak with authority and conviction during class presentations. I had to show these traits during my internship and first post graduate job. When I feel emotional about a client's story, I hide my emotions and tears from them for fear of not looking professional or capable.

Carl Jung is a psychologist who explored unconscious universal archetypes. These are aspects of personality that are present in all humans. They take shape as thoughts and images. All humans have a masculine and feminine side to them. Yin and Yang. Action and reflection. Dominance and passivity. This is separate from biological sex and even gender. It might be thought of as how the spirit is androgynous.

Carl Jung used the terms anima and animus. The anima is the feminine side of a man and animus is the masculine side of a woman.  As a culture we don't accept feminine traits in females, and especially not in males. This isn't a reference to homosexuality or transgender individuals. I'm referring to feminine tendencies (anima) such as sensitivity, receptivity, reflection, nurturing, gentleness, and intuition that are often repressed in men. And male tendencies (animus) of courage, assertiveness, analytical thought, decisiveness, and drive that women are beginning to access through the "feminist" movement.

For example, some of my male traits are drive, perfectionism,and criticism (of myself), which tends to attack my female side. This might be effective in the American workforce and job interview, but it stifles my creativity. Perfectionism and self criticism slaughter most of my creative ideas before they have a chance to bud. It's like I'm going through life with only the right side of my body. The right limbs break the left and I'm only accessing half of my Self. No wonder I'm limping, stumbling along in some areas of life.

I discovered this when I went on a retreat in a community that embraces Jung and his follower's ideas. I was sharing my writer's block despair with someone, and they suggested my male side (traits) might be dominating and attacking my female side (traits). I'd never thought of it that way before. Read more about my retreat experience.

I can't do Jung's work any justice in a single blog post, but here's something from Wikipedia (under anima/animus) that goes a little deeper: "Because a man's sensitivity must often be repressed, the anima is one of the most significant autonomous complexes of all. It is said to manifest itself by appearing in dreams. It also influences a man's interactions with women and his attitudes toward them and vice versa for females and the animus."  We project our anima/animus on people we're in relationships with (of the opposite sex). This is fascinating!

Feminism is a misnomer because we're not about embracing feminine characteristics. It should be called the "masculinist movement." Please just call it for what it is: In order to be treated as equals women have had to act more like men.

I'm sure you noticed that "masculinist" is not actually a word. There is no equivalent to "feminist". That alone should clue us in.

It might be better suited to have a "masculinist movement" that encourages men to acknowledge their intuition, sensitivity, and tenderness.

Monday Musings...My detox

Today I'm not sharing the topic until the end. You may, if you like, cheat by checking my fellow Monday blogger's sites. :)

 Christine Allen-Riley
 Kirsti Jones
 Tess Grant.

Last weekend I went on a retreat with a friend of mine. It was in a rural area in the woods and we each had our own private lodging. It was in a community that's largely based on Carl Jung's teachings (psychologist who broke off from Freud). Jung's work emphasizes one's inner world, which should be in more balance with one's external world than what we see in modern man today- in other words the unconscious versus conscious. That alone is a whole different blog post that I hope to do sometime. 

There was no Internet or TV, and my cell phone signal was spotty. Some of my time was spent discussing topics with my friend and those who run the community and some was spent in solitude. 

At first my mind was frantic and compulsive, so accustomed to preparing for work or tomorrow's plan or my to do list. Of course I'd made sure to schedule my free time at the retreat. I'd made goals - reading certain books, accomplishing so much writing, getting back into my journal. My car looked like I was going on a four week road trip! 

After I unpacked, I fidgeted, rearranging what belongings I wanted where. Changed into my yoga pants, I started reading, got distracted, went back to reading, had an impulse to text my sister something awesome I'd read. My fidgets lasted a good two days. Thankfully it was a four day retreat. I was annoyed with myself. Why was I so restless? 

I knew this might happen as I detoxed from American Society life, and so from the beginning I I let whatever happen, happen. Go with the flow. I even have a "Go with the flow" shirt from yoga class. So, I let myself fidget. 

As I was going through withdrawals, it's amazing how many impulses I had to check Facebook, send a text, and check my phone. Then, I came across this in my reading:

"The first sermon in the world was preached at the creation. It was a Divine protest against Hurry." (goes on to talk about the 7th day of rest)

"Nature is very un-American. Nature never hurries. Every phase of her working shows plan, calmness, reliability, and the absence of hurry. Hurry always implies lack of definite method, confusion, impatience of slow growth." - Both from William George Jordan, The Majesty of Calmness, 1898

Did you see that? He wrote that in 1898!! 100+ years later and we're at warped speed.

When's the last time I didn't feel some form of hurry? Whether it's actually running late or worrying about something that's not done.

I did a lot of journaling. My instinct, rather than that incessant thinking voice, told me to journal. I had to purge to clear my mind and undo the creative constipation I'd been experiencing. I've decided that journaling/free associating is imperative so I can vomit all the garbage and busy random thoughts- the enema for my creativity. 

I need that inner quiet if I'm going to write anything of any quality and access my muse. How can inspiration erupt when it's dominated by four very logical goal oriented debators? My inspiration is shy and more likely to take another nap than get in the boxing ring with the others.

In returning to my routine and the hustled world, I'm not magically cured of my old habits, but I realize I need to slow down, even if it's from 75 mph to 55 mph. 

Today's topic was what do I need to write? In case you got lost in the maze of my story. :) 

The picture is from a very relaxing trip I took with my husband in the Bahamas.