Monday Musing- The fictional debate

This week my fellow authors (Christine , Kirsti, Tess ) and I are exploring the topic Literary vs. Genre Fiction. Genre can also be known as Popular fiction.

First impressions (free association really) when I started thinking about this topic:

Literary: (sometimes) boring, insightful, symbolic, school, themes, complex, deep, real life characters, awards, To Kill a Mockingbird, subtle, school, okay I'm repeating myself.

Genre fiction: paperback, straightforward, fast pace, cookie cutter, then I drew a blank because genre fiction is really quite open...

I don't care to promote one above the other since I think they each have their place. Personally it depends upon my mood and how much work I want to do as the reader. Do I want to be whirled away from the troubles of my life or do I want to dive into and examine the troubles of life?

I also have a looser definition of literary than I'm guessing most people do. Literary shouldn't mean critically acclaimed with awards. For me it means, did it make me think? Do I view the world slightly different because of it? Literary work is often subtle, and doesn't answer all your questions with a pretty pink bow. It asks "why" but doesn't offer an answer. It may leave many unanswered questions.

The timing of this topic is perfect since I just read The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood, (who is by the way my new favorite author.) I harassed my husband enough into reading it because I wanted another person's opinion on it, especially the ending. He even pulled a late-nighter to finish the end despite it being a work night! Normally he reads a chapter before going to bed and I'm the one huddled under the blankets with the mini reading light until 3 am. The next day we held an impromptu book discussion in the kitchen.

I won't give anything away since I recommend it as a good read. It's not a very long book and it's a Dystopian novel, similar to 1984, in a sense. But after watching the movie together over the weekend, the literary pieces really stood out to me. Since the movie was made in 1990 and still heavily influenced by the 1980s, I did my best to ignore the awful hair, music etc.

We all know that books and their movies are rarely exact, and are often quite different. In this case, some key points were very different, and afterwards my husband put it pretty well: "If I hadn't read the book, I wouldn't have really known what it was about."

Of course you get that it's Dystopian, the handmaids wear red, they're supposed to bear children, and so on with the basics but many of the literary elements were ignored OR the movie took the liberty to answer some of the unanswered questions that the book poses (and not in a thoughtful way).

 Again, I don't want to give anything away, but the movie ramped up a few scenes, adding events that were not in the book, probably to add more drama and give the audience that feeling of connecting the dots. Oh, this happened, so that's why that happened. Oh, and just to make you feel better, we'll add this so you're content with the love, motherhood, and survival aspects of it.

As the credits were rolling, I told my husband I didn't like how they did it. I'd just eaten pink cotton candy when I was expecting Mackinaw Fudge.

The movie was genre fiction and the book was literary fiction- evoking two very different feelings and experiences.

I'm not saying that genre fiction is unable to be deep or complex. But I would argue that in order to be considered literary (even my broad definition of it), it needs to be more than cotton candy.

I'd been internally debating the subject for a few days so it was nice to unexpectedly experience the difference, rather than simply thinking and writing about it.

Feel free to share your own thoughts below on the subject or The Handmaid's Tale. Remember to check out Christine , Kirsti, and Tess 's blogs to get their thoughts on it!

Monday Musings

I'm excited to be in my first blog hop! We're all writers at various stages in our careers, and we've committed to writing about a shared topic every Monday. It's my least favorite day of the week so I like the idea of adding something fun and new on the dreaded day.  I'll provide the links so you can, well, hop, to the other writer's blogs to read their views.

Bloggers and authors often interview each other, but we're starting with a Self Interview. Be sure to get acquainted with Kirsti Jones, Chris Allen-Riley, and Tess Grant.

Self Interview

What’s your favorite word?

Namaste- partly for what it means and if you do any yoga, you'll know. I also love the way it rolls off my tongue.

What’s your least favorite word?

I'm cheating and picking a phrase: "Just sayin", it's overdone and half the time it's not used right. Pet peeve I guess.

What sound do you love?

Rain, thunderstorms, the woods, mourning dove- at our old house I used to wake every morning to this bird!

What sound do you hate?

Traffic, commercials

What’s your favorite curse word?

Sh*t usually sums things up quite well.

What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?

Writer of course, travelling writer would be nice. If I can dream big- probably an actress in a Jane Austen film. A bit specific I know, but I can dream..

What profession would you not like to do?

Anything with public speaking like politician, lawyer, CEO etc. These are about the polar opposite of my personality anyways!

What do you like best about writing?

For some reason this is really hard for me to answer. It's like asking me why do you have brown eyes? It just is. Pure and simple. It's my favorite form of expression and I love the process of creating. 

What do you like least?

It prompts such great self doubt and exposes my flaws (i.e. self confidence)

Do you have a day job aside from writing?

I'm a mental health therapist by day. (I typically refrain from saying psychologist because I get the most bizarre reactions from people)

What’s your favorite animal?

Dog

Favorite color?

Green- all shades

Coffee or tea?

Tea

City or country?

Country, although I just bought a house in the city...

Pirate or ninja?

Pirate, but with both eyes

If you were a book, which book would you be?

Pride and Prejudice- I adore historical fiction, especially if it's Jane Austen, Victorian, Tudor, Medieval, and/or takes place in England. Yes, I think I was born in the wrong century!

Feel free to comment below with an answer of your own from one of these questions!

New Year Priorities

When I hear writers say that they can't imagine NOT writing, and that it would be starvation, anguish, and cruelty if they couldn't write, I have no concept of what they mean. I'm really good at NOT writing, a master really. I could easily go 20 years without writing. It's so much easier.

I find writing painful. As I'm typing, there's a litany of negative thoughts. I notice everything that's wrong about it. At the end of every sentence I come up gasping for air. Can I go another lap? The muscle is sore, unpracticed, practically useless. It would be much easier to quit now. I wave my flag of defeat and think, maybe I'm not really a writer. Would a writer find it excruciating to actually write??

Come to think of it, it's similar to my experience of running. A couple of years ago, I made a goal of running a 5k, and I was not a runner. I ran sprints for track when I was in middle school, but that was over 15 years ago. A 5k was new territory and I was not a practiced runner. My husband is a runner, one of those cross country phenomenons that I can't wrap my head around. Running 15 miles is fun??

My husband was my unspoken coach. He'd run with me and cheer me on when I ran one minute straight, then five minutes straight. At the beginning, one minute was torture. Achy legs, I couldn't breathe, and my mind screamed, stop, stop, it hurts too much, I can't go another step!

I'd been with my husband (then boyfriend) for 7 years, but I still wanted to impress him. Wanted to make him proud I guess.  I always ran further when he was with me because I was too embarrassed to quit after one minute when he knew full well I could run for five. No matter how much of a temper tantrum my mind was throwing or how much my lungs were gasping, I was going to do it! When I ran alone, I didn't do as well, especially at first. It was just as much of a mental struggle as a physical struggle. I had to learn to master my mental hurdles and the physical all fell into place.

Which brings me back to writing. Writing is a solitary activity. Joining a writer's group and having an accountability partner shouldn't be discounted, but it's still a solitary activity. The mental barriers are also there and I find it so much easier to stop after this sentence. I feel sore and weak and burnt out of my creativity. I don't write as well when I'm out of practice, and that's the part I need to remember. Everything takes practice, whether it's running, writing, or whatever your "thing" is. And many of those require passion, perseverance, and mental barriers that you have to brace for.

As I enter the new year, I refuse to make a New Years resolution. Life is evolving and I need to allow for flexibility. My goals may change day by day and that's okay. I would, however, like to re-prioritize where and how I spend my time and energy. After family, work, and everyday mundane tasks, I have only so much time left for me. So writing is something I'm going to put at the top of my priorities, keeping in mind that I need practice and with that comes some crappy writing. But at least I'm writing. I did by the way, eventually run that 5k.

Gluten

“Gluten is basically a poison”

My jaw dropped. This was an MD. Not a naturopathic doctor, not a health food speaker, or one of the many books I’ve been reading.

My regular doctor had referred me to a specialist- or so I thought. After over a year of endless testing and ruling out possibilities, she wanted me to see an Internal Medicine Doctor- someone that deals with chronic, difficult to diagnosis illnesses. Instead, I had accidentally been scheduled with another primary care doctor.  I was irritated, as I sat in the waiting room, but decided that since I was there and had taken time off work, I would see it through.

“Pretty much, nobody should be eating it,” She continued.

I’m convinced this was a fluke that God and the Universe orchestrated.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, and yet it was one of those “yes, this is it” feel it in my bones and gut firecracker moments.

 My health has been a struggle the past couple of years. I’ve been coping with periods of immense fatigue and a variety of other symptoms. It comes and goes, some days worse than others. With the fatigue I have body aches, my mind is foggy, I feel bummed, and it’s a bit like having the flu, but without any vomiting, fever, etc. For a long time, I brushed it aside, chalking it up to being “in my head” and needing to “tough it out.” Then I attributed it to stress, which has been plentiful in the past couple years…between studying for a major licensing exam, to planning a wedding, and then our house burning down. Not to mention the daily stress of my job.

Vague symptoms are difficult. Nothing showed up on my labs. The body constantly adjusts to new norms so I didn’t realize how bad it was until my newlywed husband pointed it out. I was falling asleep at the wheel of the car on the way home from work, I’d take a 3 hour nap, drag myself out of bed to shower and eat, sleep 10 hours, wake up dead tired, go to work, and repeat the same thing another day, maybe two. This would happen to varying degrees every six weeks or so. The vague symptoms were more frequent although I don’t remember exactly how often because I always brushed it off. I had regular headaches, which I attributed to stress. Sometimes I’d have a faint rash around my neck and shoulders. Stress, I told myself.

I repeated blood lab work and nothing significant came through. My doctor ruled out various things. This past summer she said the labs showed that I might be “trending” towards Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, a form of hypothyroidism (low), but I didn’t actually have it to where I needed any thyroid supplement. I was later diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and like I said before, referred onward. Apparently gluten problems are thought to relate to IBS, migraines, miscarriages, depression, thyroid issues, and a host of other problems. The research is still in the beginning stages.

Over six weeks ago I sought out a naturopathic doctor who looked over my labs and spent (get this!) an HOUR AND A HALF with me! We covered everything. She advised that I take iron supplements because my iron was very low- bordering anemic, try a gluten free diet, take in more protein (60 grams), and we’ve been keeping in touch since then by emails and phone calls.

I don’t think I’m alone. Many people are fatigued, stressed, and overwhelmed, with various health complaints whether it’s constipation, headaches, chronic pain, the list is endless. Why are we so sick when we have such advanced technology and medicine? It’s complex since you have to consider each individual and the mind-body interplay of health. I’ve been on a mission to discover my own complexity.

I’m not saying that every malady can be blamed on gluten, but as my doctor explained, it’s under or mis-diagnosed. She told me I’m on the “upswing” of gluten awareness. I’ve been reading up on it, and it truly is a budding area, only in the beginning stages of research.  This doctor said that while there’s testing for Celiac Disease, the most severe form of the allergy, there’s nothing to test gluten intolerance or sensitivity. The only way is to remove it from you diet, and then you wait and see. 

Gluten is a protein found in wheat, and since it’s found naturally, I couldn’t quite understand why it causes so many problems. So I asked. The doctor said that it’s been so genetically modified over years that it’s making us sick. It’s also hidden in many different things like soup, dressings, processed foods, and even shampoos. I’ve read that the wheat protein we ingest today is drastically different than it was 100 years ago. I’ve also read up on the evolutionary thoughts about gluten. We weren’t designed to eat as many grains as we do. They were introduced 10,000 years ago, versus the longer span of time that we’ve been eating fruits, vegetables, nuts, and fish.

I wasn’t expecting this doctor to advise that I continue the gluten free diet that I’d already been on for about six weeks. It’s been a learning experience and complete lifestyle change. She gave me a vitamin B12 shot and explained how nutrient deprived we are (gluten problems can also lead to malabsorption of nutrients). She did a standard chest X ray that she does with all new patients. She advised that I start drinking green smoothies every other day. She didn’t prescribe any medications (maybe that’s why research has been so slow when it comes to gluten!).

Since I’ve been gluten free, I’ve been free of headaches, my digestive system has improved, and while the fatigue hasn’t disappeared completely, it’s definitely improved. I haven’t had any spells of immense fatigue.

I still have days where I doubt it all. I’ve made other healthy lifestyle changes at the same time as going gluten free, so I still wonder- what if that’s not it?  The doctor said that’s a common reaction. She’s seen people doubt that it’s really gluten, go on a gluten binge, and their symptoms return. They forget how horrible they used to feel. The diet experiment is key. I reintroduced gluten a couple weeks ago, and like my naturopathic doctor (different doctor) had suggested, I watched for my body’s reaction for 48 hours. Between 36 to 48 hours, I had headaches and fatigue. I’m going to do it again, just because, well, I’m a perfectionist and I want to see if I get the same reaction. There might also be a small part of me that doesn’t want to be gluten sensitive because it’s hard work and inconvenient.

I’m on a mission of health and balance. I even bought two magnets: “I want to stay healthy” and “I’m grounded and connected.” Many things make up who I am, and as a result, the writing I produce. Spirituality, mood, relationships, attitude, mental health, and physical health are all factors. The mind-body interplay won’t be ignored. Your body will speak, maybe in a foreign language, but it speaks. And I’m finally listening.

*Books you may find helpful: Clean , The Gluten Connection: How Gluten Sensitivity May Be Sabotaging Your Health, Whole Life Nutrition

*This post is based upon my experience and personal research. Feel free to use as an aide for your own self discovery. I don’t claim to be an expert. I’m learning and I encourage others to do the same whether it’s finding various doctors, dieticians, or doing your own research*

 

And the walls came tumbling down...

Two days after my last post (see April 22, 2012), our house burned down. As you can see, it's been over six months. I suppose most bloggers would have kept a close account while going through a tragedy, but it's not me. When chaos strikes, I'm consumed by it and work towards healing from it. My husband and I are starting to heal, we're getting back into a "normal" routine. A lot has changed. We've, well, obviously moved. We hadn't planned on moving on April 24th, but suddenly half of our belongings were crushed (bedroom collapsed into the living room), or damaged by water and smoke, and the remnants were in the lawn. Family and friends came with cars and trucks and helped load our belongings. For a couple of weeks, everybody cleaned and sorted. That smoke is TOXIC. Not campfire cozy smoke smell. It took five or more times to wash clothes, and some materials--well, they still smell like smoke after six months. We lived with family for a few months while we searched for a new home-- this time buying a house (yay!). During those months, the belongings we could save were divided between about four different households. Now everything is in our new home. We still have things to replace, but for the most part we are settled.

I miss writing, but I'm back now. I'm planning on getting back into my writer's group on a regular basis and going to their writer's conference next weekend. I will be getting back into writing my stories and poems.

We were fortunate. No one was hurt, we had tons of support, and we were able to save most of the irreplaceable things like photos, memorbilia from grandparents, and some of my writing. I could care less about losing my Ipod, but I still mourn losing half of my journals. I've kept journals since I was in second grade, and I lost most of the journals I kept as a young girl. A few flew out the window and one of the firemen brought them over to me (yes, we watched a good portion of when it was burning down). They were in rough condition, but you could still read them so I wiped off the debris and used a hair dryer to dry them off. They're still in a box with cedar chips to get rid of the smoke smell. (I'm quite savvy on fire clean-up now!)

It feels good to be back. Thank you for your patience!